Lately, it has been hot, so I decided to do something that would make life a little easier. I cooked a bunch of different meals in the crock pot, put them into containers, and froze them. That way, when the weather is hot, I wouldn't have to do much cooking. Then a flyer came in from the local Mexican market. They had pineapples, plantains, mangoes, watermelon, cucumbers—fresh fruits and vegetables at really good prices. They also had beef shanks. So after the gym, I had my caretaker take me to the store. I already had plenty of food at home. I had meals in the freezer, food in the refrigerator, and everything I needed. I wasn't going to the store because I was running out of food. But when I got there, something happened. I felt happy. The store was colorful and full of fresh food. I could choose one of this, two of that, three of something else. I wasn't limited to whatever quantity happened to come in a package. I could actually look at what I wanted and decide what I wa...
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For a long time, I lived in quiet confusion.
I was a Christian—still am. I believe in God. I believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. And yet, the deeper I went on my healing journey, the more I started asking questions that didn’t fit into the version of faith I was raised in.
They say, “Let go and let God.”
They say, “Just trust. Just believe.”
They say, “God will provide.”
But what about when you’re suffering?
When you don’t know where your next dollar is coming from?
When you’re breaking down in your living room wondering if you’re being punished for doing something “wrong”?
Where is God in the day-to-day pain? For most of my life, I believed that suffering was part of being faithful. That the guilt, fear, and shame were somehow holy burdens to carry. That if I just prayed harder, stayed obedient, trusted blindly, and never questioned God, maybe—just maybe—I’d be worthy of His favor. But no matter how faithful I was, I kept suffering. And deep down, I was terrified that if I asked why, I’d end up in hell.
I’ve heard all the phrases before:
“Let go and let God.”
“God’s timing is perfect.”
“Have faith.”
“Don’t question His will.”
But none of those gave me any tools when I was drowning in anxiety, riddled with trauma, or praying for peace while my chest burned with panic.
And yet, when I started researching and experiencing things like sacred geometry, sound healing, tuning forks, and clearing energy fields, something clicked. I wasn’t turning away from God—I was coming closer to Him. Because if God made the universe, then isn’t it all sacred? The patterns in seashells, the frequencies in sound, the rhythms in nature—aren’t they divine, too?
The more I’ve healed, the more I’ve realized: The real taboo isn’t energy work. It’s waking up.
I survived a stroke five years ago. I should have died—or at the very least, been left disabled—but everything aligned that day. The neurosurgeon was there. The OR was available. That was a miracle. God was with me. And I’ve experienced many more since. But healing didn’t end in the hospital. That was just the beginning.
What no one talks about is what comes after—the emotional debris, the trauma stuck in your cells, the invisible weight of guilt and fear religion piled on top of the pain. I had to face childhood abuse, toxic relationships, and the way I silenced myself to be “good.” I had to clear not just energy, but entire belief systems.
And when I turned to energy work—sound healing, chakra balancing, grounding, cord-cutting—it felt like I was “dabbling in the forbidden.” Like I was sinning. Even though it worked. Even though it brought peace. Even though it healed me in ways prayer alone couldn’t touch.
That guilt didn’t come from God. It came from decades of conditioning—Catholic guilt, Christian guilt, the fear that stepping outside the lines meant I’d anger Him… or end up in hell.
But here’s the truth: I was already living in a kind of hell. Fear, shame, confusion, anxiety, exhaustion, spiritual paralysis. And I had to ask myself—what kind of loving God would want that for me?
What I’ve come to understand is this:
God is not punishing me.
God is not withholding blessings because I used a tuning fork or lit a candle.
God is not sitting in the clouds, waiting for me to fail.
God is not punishing me.
God is not withholding blessings because I used a tuning fork or lit a candle.
God is not sitting in the clouds, waiting for me to fail.
That fear? That guilt? That’s not God. That’s conditioning.
Instead, I’ve come to believe:
God is in the sacred geometry of a seashell.
God is in the vibration of a singing bowl.
God is in the release of trauma I never asked for.
God is in every tool that helps me heal, because healing is holy.
So why is it considered taboo?
God is in the sacred geometry of a seashell.
God is in the vibration of a singing bowl.
God is in the release of trauma I never asked for.
God is in every tool that helps me heal, because healing is holy.
So why is it considered taboo?
Because it doesn’t fit inside the box.
Because it gives people power without a middleman.
Because it’s hard to control someone who trusts their own divinity and listens to their body and soul.
I’m done with fear. I’m done with guilt.
I am moving forward with what feels true. What feels connected. What feels aligned with the God I know—the one who has shown up for me time and time again, even when I didn’t think I deserved it.
If you’re on the edge like I was—wondering if it’s okay to use tools that bring you peace, wondering if questioning your pain is going to send you to hell—let me tell you this:
You’re not rebelling. You’re remembering.
You’re not straying from God. You’re stepping closer to Him.
And if nobody ever told you this before, let me be the one to say it:
You are allowed to heal.
You are allowed to break the chains.
And God is not mad at you.
You’re coming home.
If You’ve Ever Felt Afraid…
If you’ve ever been afraid to question your faith…
If you’ve ever felt guilty for exploring what helps you feel whole…
If you’ve ever stayed silent because you didn’t want to anger God or disappoint your family…
If you’ve ever felt guilty for exploring what helps you feel whole…
If you’ve ever stayed silent because you didn’t want to anger God or disappoint your family…
You are not alone.
Healing is not a betrayal of God. It’s a return to Him.
You deserve to feel safe. To feel seen. To feel free.
This is your permission to begin.
👉 If you’re ready to explore spiritual or energy healing, I’d love to walk alongside you. Reach out to me at Artful Living Coaching—and let’s begin your journey home.
—Jean
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