Lately, it has been hot, so I decided to do something that would make life a little easier. I cooked a bunch of different meals in the crock pot, put them into containers, and froze them. That way, when the weather is hot, I wouldn't have to do much cooking. Then a flyer came in from the local Mexican market. They had pineapples, plantains, mangoes, watermelon, cucumbers—fresh fruits and vegetables at really good prices. They also had beef shanks. So after the gym, I had my caretaker take me to the store. I already had plenty of food at home. I had meals in the freezer, food in the refrigerator, and everything I needed. I wasn't going to the store because I was running out of food. But when I got there, something happened. I felt happy. The store was colorful and full of fresh food. I could choose one of this, two of that, three of something else. I wasn't limited to whatever quantity happened to come in a package. I could actually look at what I wanted and decide what I wa...
The other day, I had what I can only call a Satori moment — a sudden burst of awareness that cracked me open just enough to see something I’d been avoiding. I was sitting there, letting myself drift into joy. I was visualizing the things I want to create — and what my future would look like, all flowing together in ways that light me up. I could feel the happiness start to bubble up inside me. That fizzy, almost electric sensation that says yes, this is the life I’m creating . Then — boom — shutdown. I blocked it. Just like that. A familiar wall. That subtle, silent sabotage whispering, “Don’t feel too much. Don’t get too excited. What if it doesn’t happen?” It was as if some hidden part of me whispered, Don’t get your hopes up… what if it doesn’t happen? I could feel myself shutting the door on joy before it could fully enter. That lie dressed up like protection. And then, I said it: “Do I have a heart wall?” And suddenly—tears. Full-body truth. That wasn’t just a question. That ...