Lately, it has been hot, so I decided to do something that would make life a little easier. I cooked a bunch of different meals in the crock pot, put them into containers, and froze them. That way, when the weather is hot, I wouldn't have to do much cooking. Then a flyer came in from the local Mexican market. They had pineapples, plantains, mangoes, watermelon, cucumbers—fresh fruits and vegetables at really good prices. They also had beef shanks. So after the gym, I had my caretaker take me to the store. I already had plenty of food at home. I had meals in the freezer, food in the refrigerator, and everything I needed. I wasn't going to the store because I was running out of food. But when I got there, something happened. I felt happy. The store was colorful and full of fresh food. I could choose one of this, two of that, three of something else. I wasn't limited to whatever quantity happened to come in a package. I could actually look at what I wanted and decide what I wa...
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In 2020, my life changed forever. A stroke left me feeling disconnected—like something was missing, as if a part of me had died. For the first three years, my focus was solely on physical healing. But over the past year, I’ve shifted my attention to something deeper: mind, body, spirit, and energy.
I’ve been searching, trying to piece together what feels lost.
At times, I question whether my soul is still whole. The idea of losing part of yourself—your spirit, your essence—is not new. Many cultures believe that trauma, loss, or profound life events can fracture the soul. And what is a stroke, if not a sudden, violent rupture in both body and being?
I knew something was off the moment they sent me to rehab. I was supposed to start physical therapy, but instead, I spent three days lying in a hospital bed—forgotten. No therapy. No guidance. Just me, trapped in a place where healing wasn’t happening. And in that moment, I knew: I had to get out.
I had to get home.
Because while my body was there in that hospital bed, my spirit felt shattered. I knew I had spirituality—I always had. But something was damaged, something was disconnected. I had to find a way to reconnect my spirit with my mind and body.
This wasn’t just a feeling.
I’ve had out-of-body experiences before—I know what it’s like to feel my spirit hovering, watching my body from the outside. That kind of separation has always been familiar to me. But this? This was different.
This time, it felt like my spirit—or maybe even my soul—wasn’t just observing. It was missing.
What Happens When You Lose a Part of Yourself?
Whether or not someone can literally lose part of their soul is a matter of personal belief. There’s no scientific proof, but the feeling of loss is very real. Many stroke survivors experience a deep disconnection, a sense that they are no longer the person they once were.
This can be due to:
- Physical Changes: A stroke can alter mobility, independence, and daily routines, leading to frustration and loss of identity.
- Emotional Changes: Many stroke survivors experience mood swings, depression, or anxiety due to brain function changes, leaving them feeling like a stranger in their own body.
- Cognitive Changes: Memory loss, speech difficulties, and slower processing can make it feel as if a part of your mind—your very essence—has slipped away.
- Spiritual or Existential Shifts: When life is suddenly threatened, deep questions about purpose, God, and the soul arise. What once felt certain can become distant or incomplete.
Reconnecting to What Was Lost
If I’ve learned anything, it’s that healing isn’t just about the body—it’s about reclaiming every part of yourself.
Before my stroke, I was unstoppable. I’m a published, award-winning photographer. I was constantly creating, inspiring, leading.
During COVID, I gave up. And in giving up, I lost more than just opportunities—I lost parts of myself. My health suffered. My relationships suffered. And worst of all, my spirit suffered.
I’ve been deeply exploring energy, the higher mind, and spiritual healing. I’ve even considered taking a course in shamanism for soul retrieval—something I plan to do—but first, I seek God and Christianity. I want to understand where I fit, what I might be missing, and how to reconnect with the version of myself that never settled.
The Path Forward: Healing Mind, Body & Spirit
If you’ve ever felt like you lost a part of yourself—whether through trauma, illness, or simply the slow erosion of settling—know this:
You can reclaim yourself.
Here’s what’s helping me:
- Faith & Spiritual Exploration: Strengthening my relationship with God while remaining open to deeper spiritual wisdom.
- Coaching & Energy Work: As a Master Certified Life and Spiritual Coach, I’m applying everything I teach to my own life.
- Physical & Emotional Healing: Even small victories matter. Every step toward wellness helps me rebuild my sense of self.
- Returning to My Roots: Remembering who I was before the stroke and stepping back into that power.
Healing is a journey, and I am walking it one step at a time. I may not feel exactly the same as I did before, but I am committed to finding a new sense of wholeness, purpose, and alignment.
And if you’re on a similar path, I invite you to walk with me.
For coaching, transformation, and rediscovering your power, visit ArtfulLivingCoaching.com.
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