Stroke Survivor: Four Years of Strength and Resilience

Happy stroke-aversary to me! Four years ago, my life took a dramatic turn. But instead of dwelling on "what ifs," I've chosen to focus on staying alive and WELL-ish (skin cancer aside!). Most importantly, I haven't had another stroke, a fear that will likely stay with me forever.

To combat this fear and embrace life, I turned to faith and healthy living. Over the first three years, I shed 30 pounds, not through fad diets, but by making conscious choices about the fuel I put in my body. This journey also made me hyper-aware of my blood pressure, understanding the importance of keeping it under control.

Year 1: The Healing Battle

The first year post-stroke was a constant battle. While my brain healed, I experienced a barrage of symptoms: nausea, dizziness, anxiety, fear, chronic pain, and fatigue. Sensory overload was overwhelming, and my usual sensitivity as an empath became heightened to the point where other people's energy caused me physical pain, making it difficult to be around crowds. I wasn't able to drive on the freeway due to dizziness, coordination and peripheral vision were all off. Frequent rest was necessary, and simple tasks like eating and driving became fraught with challenges – missed bites, choking, and an inability to navigate the freeway due to dizziness and unbalanced senses. To top it all off, my skin appeared dull and gray throughout the year, a reflection of the internal struggle. #stroke survivor

Year 2: Regaining Strength and Independence

Year two offered a glimmer of hope. The intense fear subsided somewhat, replaced by a fierce determination to survive. While the initial symptoms persisted, I saw progress around the year and a half mark. Conquering the Ortega Highway for the first time since my stroke and driving the long haul to photograph a wedding (despite the early start, late finish, and pouring rain) were major victories in terms of both courage and endurance. A six-hour wedding just ten days prior served as a decent warm-up, although chronic neuro fatigue and low energy remained challenges. While long periods on my feet still required frequent rest, I had come a long way from the constant fatigue that confined me to the couch in year one. The lingering question of "will I ever feel normal again" still brought tears to my eyes, especially when a CT scan triggered a flashback to the terrifying experience of my stroke.

Year 3: Embracing Life Again

While many post-stroke symptoms lingered in year three, I learned to manage them and significantly reduce the fear they once caused. Excitement returned, and I began dreaming and planning for the future, no longer just focused on daily survival. Each morning brought renewed gratitude for life.

Pushing my limits became a source of empowerment. A seven-mile cliffside hike, despite almost falling off several times, proved my resilience. Gardening and maintaining my extensive property for hours, followed by the ability to tackle more the next day, demonstrated my progress. Self-doubt regarding physical abilities and endurance vanished. I knew I could take on challenges, reclaiming my life. While some disabilities remain, they are mostly undetectable by others.

Though occasional word stumbles and mental fatigue during long conversations can hinder my ability to express myself clearly, fortunately, my job doesn't require extensive verbal communication. Still have the phone by my bed, at night as my security blanket. I still remember that awful morning dragging myself to the kitchen where my phone was charging to call 911. Each morning brings a fresh wave of gratitude for being alive and healthy. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, making today even more precious.

Year 4: Continued Progress and a Clean Bill of Health

This year marks my fourth year as a stroke survivor. I remain focused on healthy living, prioritizing good nutrition. In December, I rejoined a gym and I'm enjoying the improvements in strength and confidence it brings.

This past year involved a series of medical tests, some of which felt excessive. Despite occasional doubts, I persevered to get a clean bill of health. These tests included scans of my neck, an MRI, CT scans, and a cranial Doppler ultrasound (or similar). My neurologist's positive evaluation was a welcome reassurance, although it came with the reminder to continue monitoring my blood pressure and avoid undue stress.

Beyond the physical aspects of recovery, I've been focusing on managing my energy levels and the impact of my thoughts and surroundings on my well-being. This renewed focus has empowered me to pursue personal and professional goals, including becoming a coach and sharing my experiences.

While the fear of another stroke hasn't vanished entirely, it's significantly reduced compared to the early days. The past four years have been a journey of self-improvement, focused on maintaining physical fitness and regaining lost abilities.

The initial year post-stroke involved rebuilding my home life and coping with the challenges of the COVID pandemic. My business also required attention. Now, with a clean bill of health and renewed strength from the gym, I'm pushing myself even further.

Despite the outward appearance of normalcy, the internal struggles haven't completely subsided. Neuro fatigue, body aches, and occasional rest days are a reality I manage. Learning to listen to my body's limits helps me avoid setbacks.

The future looks bright. Turning 60 soon feels surreal, but my spirit remains young. Unlike many my age, I haven't given up. The stroke forced me to work harder to regain coordination and overcome challenges like dizziness and vertigo. However, each obstacle overcome has made me stronger and more resilient.

I'm excited for what the next year holds. This journey has had its ups and downs, but sharing my story allows me to connect with others and hopefully inspire them to face their own challenges with courage and hope.